“Getting engaged is like getting…it’s the first hurdle of the roller-coaster and you hear the click.. those loud sounds. This really violent metal chunk o-chunk o-chunking…. (You’re asking yourself) what’s going on here, you know. Boy this thing really goes high (in reference to the roller-coaster) and then you go over the top. The wedding is at the top…you go over the top that’s the wedding and then you’re just screaming”.
“Marriage is like any growth you can’t be ready for it because its growth it’s going to be new. You’re going to have a new life; you’re going to be a new person”. – Jerry Seinfeld
Am I the only one that receives wedding invitations having no idea the two parties were even dating? I ask myself “Kerry where have you been”. To my credit I’m not one for competing or much less keeping an eye on the Jones’s. On a larger scale I am that friend that has no idea what Kylie Jenner wore to the Grammy’s or who Drake is dating. I’m getting off topic. I don’t spend a lot of time on social media but, when I’m on there I am surprised by what I see. What am I seeing? I see a lot of proposals, bridal showers and weddings.
I’m sure there are many reasons to why those things jump out to me. The first I would say centers on age. I’m going strictly off perception but, I would guess individuals 18-28 get married more than any other age group. I would say the second reason surrounds my use of social media. For people like me that limit their social media use we have to realize the world never stops. If you don’t track someone for a year or two you will surely be surprised with the happenings in his/her life. The last surrounds my personal association with weddings. I have been a groomsman in two weddings in the last 18 months and have seen my sister, brother and father married in that span.
To say the least I was very intrigued as to what the numbers showed in relation to couples getting married in my age range. Is the percentage higher now than in years past? Is the number lower? How are those numbers reflected in the divorce rate? Lastly where does my ethnicity factor into the equation?
Have you ever performed research on marriage? The first information that jumps out at you and repeats in various publications is the rise in median marital age. The average age for women is 25.8 and 28.3 for men. The age group that has suffered the greatest decline in marriages is you guessed it 18-28. 20 % of individuals in that age range are married compared to 60% of that same age group 40 years ago according to the 2010 Census. According to the CDC the decline is related to an increase in cohabitation and single parenthood.
The Pew Research Center goes against the grain as it advises that public perception is mixed on the institution of marriage. Meaning as a nation we do not value the institution as in years past so thus the decline. The aforementioned premise was not supported in the various studies I observed but, I actually believe that the study does have some merit. The majority of the studies concluded that minorities who as we have learned marry less than whites still value the institution of marriage. The previous statement is not actually supported when it comes time to say “I do”. As of 2010 55% of black adults had ever been married compared with 64% of Hispanics and 76% of Whites. According to the Census currently 45% of African American households contain a married couple. Blacks are significantly more likely than any other race to never marry, cohabit and bear children out of wedlock according to the Census. The national illegitimacy rate (children born out of wedlock) is 33% but, for blacks that number is more like 70%. Educational attainment or lack thereof supports the aforementioned premise more than most give credence.
A study called “Women’s Education and Their Likelihood of Marriage” performed by professor Paula England expounded on the previous topic. The study found that 75% of college educated women are married, compared to 70% of those who attend some college and 60% with only high school education. According to (blg.com) college graduates are 20% to 30% less likely to divorce than non-graduates which is a good segue to divorce rates. Men 20 to 24 divorce at a rate of 38.8% percent which is higher than any other age range. Women share the same age ranges but, there clip is 36.6%. The website divorcesaloon.com has the divorce rate for blacks currently at 70%.
Looking over all the facts and figures from the CDC, Census and countless studies I was not satisfied. I settled myself as the disintegration of the black family started long ago and as blacks we perpetuate that cycle in various ways. I did find solace in information received on discoverthenetworks.org that gave me hope. Black two parent families where both parties work full time have a mere 2% poverty rate which leads me to my conclusion. We have to breakdown why blacks want to get married but, don’t and also why we divorce higher than any other race. I’m not sure how to correct the problem but, I know it first starts with ME. I went to college and I’m waiting to get married. I need to choose a partner that helps support our family spiritually and financially as we shape and nurture our child(s) views. I didn’t see any marriages up close as a kid and to think my son could see 4/5 just with his dad, aunts, uncle and grandfather. I think that’s a step in the right direction.
I feel like I’m a planet and the other woman are kind of moving through this solar system with me. And marriage is like you decide to jump off of your planet and cross to another planet. But you can only do it when one planet passes real close and you look and say “hey I think I can jump across”.
– Jerry Seinfeld
The Weary Blues 