And I’m so evolved I’m so involved

I’m showing growth, I’m so in charge

I’m C.E.O and yea going god

I’m so indebted, I should have been deaded

Selling blow in the park, this I know in my heart

Now I’m so enlighten I might glow in the dark

Shawn Corey Carter  known more by his stage Jay-Z included those lines in a song entitled “Kingdom Come” for the album Kingdom Come. The album was the ninth studio album for Jay-Z and considered a commercial success selling 680,000 copies in the first week. It was unexpected because Jay-Z advised that his 2003 album “The Black Album” would be his last.

The album but, the song specifically records the change that Jay-Z had seen in him. In reflecting Jay-Z advises that now he is accountable to himself and others. He advises that he has evolved and he is excited about his growth from a drug dealer to CEO. Jay-Z is a thinking man now that uses his life lessons to properly dictate his path. He feels humble and thankful that God saved him because he surely would have perished without him.

I was having the kind of conversation that I love with a colleague as it touched on several subjects all of which were diverse yet equally interesting. The topic of dating arose and I responded to how men and woman look at dating differently. I advised that “women marry/date men hoping they will change and men marry/date women hoping they will remain the same”. My colleague advised that she agreed with the point but, made the assertion that women prefer not to use the term “change”. My colleague advised that women used the term “evolve” because change comes with negative coronations.

My colleague finished her retort advising that she did not know why change had developed a negative connation. This made me think and I began to center on several points and examples. I remembered looking at this study that diagrammed the feelings on change within an office. The change could be big or small. It characterized people as resistant, openly resistant, excited/willing and passive. The passive people made up the largest chuck. To quote Marshawn Lynch these people were going along with the change “so they wouldn’t be fired”. The smallest percentage were the “excited/willing made up largely of the “let’s save the world by going green types”. The openly resistant were the most likely to quit but, also cause the largest commotion attempting to get people to see their view point. The resistant would be resistant long enough before they too would join the passive or excited/willing category. If there is/was a change at your job I want you to try to put people in these categories.

One of the reasons people hate change is it goes against the status quo. People have an expectation that has been set from television, there upbringing or in dating from the first date. If anything happens that contradicts or altogether does not meet that expectation it is considered a disaster. Frank Lucas (former drug dealer) advises in short that consistently meeting expectation is how he keeps his cliental happy and thriving. What happens when the expectations are unwarranted? Have you ever seen the woman that has been dating “the guy” react when her friend gets proposed too? Maybe you were the person in your family that everyone expected to have “this” job or drive “that” car. Have you ever done something just to meet an expectation? Why?

The difference between expectations and change are people largely hate change whereas people largely tolerate expectations. I heard an old married woman tell a female newlywed to “never start something that she did not want to finish”. The old woman said in the beginning she started serving her husband his dinner every night and washing all the dishes. The old women advised the young woman “I haven’t had a night off in 40 years”. The tricky things with expectations are some are legitimate. So when you make the statement “I will lower my expectations” so I want be disappointed it appears that you want try your best. Or it appears that you’re not holding the person, item, entity to a standard they/it should live up to.

I think the only time people are willing to accept change is when they are at the complete bottom and there is nowhere else to go. At that point there expectation, there’s that word…there expectation is wherever we go from her has to be up. If someone in heaven mentions change there is uproar. If someone in hell mentions change I guarantee you everyone will have their shoes on before the pronunciation of the “e” in change is complete. On January 20, 2009 Barack H. Obama was inaugurated as the 44^th President of the United States. I doubt seriously if the first African American President would have been elected if he had attempted to follow Bill Clinton. Change is sometimes slow, tedious and frustrating but, we can’t always control change just how we respond to it.

It’s been to hard living, but I’m afraid to die

‘Cause I don’t know what’s up there, beyond the sky

It’s been a long, a long time coming

But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will

–          Sam Cooke